Children will react very differently to adults when faced with death. Children may believe that they have an understanding of what death is whether that be from TV shows or books. However,  when a child is faced with the death of a loved one the idea of death becomes very real. Unfortunately, we cannot stop the child from feeling pain related to the death however we are able to help the child cope with the various emotional responses they are having. It’s very common for children to go from one extreme straight to the other, the child may be crying filled with sadness and in less than 2 minutes might be playing with toys, this is normal and gives us a good opportunity to show the child that feeling sad when in grief is a perfectly natural response. This can be achieved by telling the child that you, yourself are feeling sad showing the child it is a natural response to the current situation.

Encouraging a child to draw a picture, write a letter or even send a soft toy, to stay with their late loved one gives the child a sense of being included and a way to help them express their grief personally. Taking time to look through old photos with the child will help them understand to appreciate what the person meant to them.

Unfortunately using some “common” phrases will potentially confuse the child such as “passed away” and “went to sleep” these phrases can give the wrong impression of what death means to a child so we suggest using direct language. There are specially written child friendly books available that not only help the child understand death but help you teach the children about what death means to them, if you struggle with this please ask the funeral director for help in sourcing one as they may already have one to hand.